WOW
This week goes down in the record books for WORST. WEEK. EVER.
I haven't been sleeping, the website I manage at work has been down for 2 days and to add insult to injury I received this oh-so-lovely-and-not-a-blow-to-my-confidence-at-all response to a job application:
Dear CB,
Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider you for employment and for answering the supplemental questions we emailed you earlier this week.
Although your experience is impressive, we have been surprised by the response to our posting and are unable to offer interviews to every qualified candidate. We appreciate your interest in xxx and wish you success in your search for the right opportunity.
Sincerely,
The xxxx Team
Happy Freaking Friday.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Reasons My Co-Workers Might Hate Me....
Yesterday I confessed to a colleague that I hate baby showers. She shot me a look that was a cross between pity and confusion. I mean it's not like I said I hate babies. Jeesh.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
What's a girl gotta do to get some sleep around here?
Let me start this entry off with a great big yawn as I try to peer through sleepy eyes.
Something in the Anglewood household has to change. QUICK LIKE. First there was my attempt at sleep aides. Now I've just gone into full bore cranky mode. Winston has taken to climbing into bed in the middle of the night while the both of us are sound asleep and unaware.
Blink
Blink
I'm sure you're having a hard time imagining how ANYONE could sleep through the earth shattering and room quaking that is Winston. But honestly he really does somehow sneak his way up.
Now since we are passed out you'd think it wasn't a big deal. The problem is he starts out at the bottom of the bed and as he gets more and more comfortable he stretches out so much that I'm pushed to the outer edges of the bed and wake up just before I plummet out of a fantastic sleep and onto Oscar snoring peacefully in his bed. Then the process begins. I take all the tired strength I have to push/pull/pry Winston off the bed only to have him reenact this 3 more times before dawn.
All the while my husband gently stirs unaware.
Last night was the last straw.
Bless his heart Shawn couldn't sleep.
It was 2:26 when I awoke out of a blissful sleep induced by a heart thumping, leg kicking, tricep developing class at the gym.
I moan how tired I am and how I've got no sleep this week and can't perform at work because of it. Shawn simply looked forward watching Adam Sandler and his idiotic haircut try to save a hotel. To add to the fun, a bulldog appeared out of nowhere in the movie sending Oscar to his feet barking like a dog on crack looking for a hit.
I throw the covers off and head to the kitchen to get some water hoping it's all a dream and I'm really still asleep. Winston of course moves his sasquatch body out of the way so I can open the door and follows me out to the kitchen where he starts whining uncontrollably and then BARKING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS BECAUSE IT'S NOW 2:38.
This is when I lost my mind. My rant went something like:
Really, Winston? REALLY? What? Should I take your barking ass out for a f*@#ing run around the block? I mean that's reasonable enough AT 2:38 IN THE DAMN MORNING! KNOCK IT OFF AND
GO.
TO.
SLEEP!!!!
I got back into bed, turned on my light and began to read. All I could focus on was the thought: IF I FALL ASLEEP RIGHT NOW I MIGHT BE SEMI NORMAL. So I shut my book and did my best to shut my mind. I don't know what time it was the next time I woke up and didn't want to know.
6:30 came around and I had to wake up the hubz who had overslept thanks to Adam Sandler, his bulldog and mullet.
I'm very tired and just watched my head explode all over my desk after a very important conference call with developers and engineers working on translating the web site I manage. That's gonna be a bitch to clean up.
Something in the Anglewood household has to change. QUICK LIKE. First there was my attempt at sleep aides. Now I've just gone into full bore cranky mode. Winston has taken to climbing into bed in the middle of the night while the both of us are sound asleep and unaware.
Blink
Blink
I'm sure you're having a hard time imagining how ANYONE could sleep through the earth shattering and room quaking that is Winston. But honestly he really does somehow sneak his way up.
Now since we are passed out you'd think it wasn't a big deal. The problem is he starts out at the bottom of the bed and as he gets more and more comfortable he stretches out so much that I'm pushed to the outer edges of the bed and wake up just before I plummet out of a fantastic sleep and onto Oscar snoring peacefully in his bed. Then the process begins. I take all the tired strength I have to push/pull/pry Winston off the bed only to have him reenact this 3 more times before dawn.
All the while my husband gently stirs unaware.
Last night was the last straw.
Bless his heart Shawn couldn't sleep.
It was 2:26 when I awoke out of a blissful sleep induced by a heart thumping, leg kicking, tricep developing class at the gym.
I moan how tired I am and how I've got no sleep this week and can't perform at work because of it. Shawn simply looked forward watching Adam Sandler and his idiotic haircut try to save a hotel. To add to the fun, a bulldog appeared out of nowhere in the movie sending Oscar to his feet barking like a dog on crack looking for a hit.
I throw the covers off and head to the kitchen to get some water hoping it's all a dream and I'm really still asleep. Winston of course moves his sasquatch body out of the way so I can open the door and follows me out to the kitchen where he starts whining uncontrollably and then BARKING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS BECAUSE IT'S NOW 2:38.
This is when I lost my mind. My rant went something like:
Really, Winston? REALLY? What? Should I take your barking ass out for a f*@#ing run around the block? I mean that's reasonable enough AT 2:38 IN THE DAMN MORNING! KNOCK IT OFF AND
GO.
TO.
SLEEP!!!!
I got back into bed, turned on my light and began to read. All I could focus on was the thought: IF I FALL ASLEEP RIGHT NOW I MIGHT BE SEMI NORMAL. So I shut my book and did my best to shut my mind. I don't know what time it was the next time I woke up and didn't want to know.
6:30 came around and I had to wake up the hubz who had overslept thanks to Adam Sandler, his bulldog and mullet.
I'm very tired and just watched my head explode all over my desk after a very important conference call with developers and engineers working on translating the web site I manage. That's gonna be a bitch to clean up.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
You Get What You Need....
I learned as a kid the old cliches "Life isn't fair" and "You can't always get what you want" which usually ended up in a tantrum of some sort. As an adult I get that in order to get past these truths of life it helps to tell ourselves that the silver lining is yet another cliche "Everything ends up as it should".
I'm usually pretty good at looking at the bright side...so much so that former colleagues dubbed me Pollyanna, a nickname I was happy with actually. It's fun to be the one who stays calm when everything else is falling apart. Lately I feel like there's nothing worse than rejection and while I don't take my professional life personally, I'm beginning to take things to heart. I've taken to refreshing my email, checking my cell for a missed call about a million times a day....sigh.
I know I'll end up where I'm "supposed" to, but it's the meantime that's killin' me and yes, I know the lessons only come during the meantime. I'll try to channel Pollyanna and stay positive. Wish me luck...
I'm usually pretty good at looking at the bright side...so much so that former colleagues dubbed me Pollyanna, a nickname I was happy with actually. It's fun to be the one who stays calm when everything else is falling apart. Lately I feel like there's nothing worse than rejection and while I don't take my professional life personally, I'm beginning to take things to heart. I've taken to refreshing my email, checking my cell for a missed call about a million times a day....sigh.
I know I'll end up where I'm "supposed" to, but it's the meantime that's killin' me and yes, I know the lessons only come during the meantime. I'll try to channel Pollyanna and stay positive. Wish me luck...
Friday, July 2, 2010
Concert
Tess and I had a BLAST at the Avett Brothers Concert and fell in love with a new artist named Chelsea Williams. (Jules do NOT look her up. kay?!)
We enjoyed some fantastic music, beautiful weather and delicious wine. We will definitely go back for more concerts this summer.
We enjoyed some fantastic music, beautiful weather and delicious wine. We will definitely go back for more concerts this summer.
I LOVE....
Driving to work with the hubz serenading him with songs about June Carter and Johnny Cash so loud he laughs and shakes his head.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Advil PM versus The Mastiff
Lately I've been working out more and pushing my body to its limits with "The Works" at my gym and various forms of power and bikram yoga. Suffice it to say I've been a bit sore. I was exhausted yesterday after an early morning meeting and yet another office announcement but went to Bikram anyway.
I was feeling all 20 of the chatarungas I had done the night before and decided to take some Advil.
Smart idea.
But then I thought about how I had not been sleeping through the night for the last two weeks and decided to take Advil PM.
Not a smart idea.
Shawn has been pulling all-nighters that lead to early morning departures into the office. I mean REALLY early. Before-the-birds-are-up early. Well, except for that BlueBird who sits perched outside my open window. That *asshol thinks he's a rooster.
For the past week or so the dogs have been otherwise unaffected by Shawn's early mornings and simply sleep. Winston only stirs to move from his bed into ours where he'll plop down with a heave and ho causing Oscar to scramble for his life hoping not to be smooshed.
Well this morning Winston:
Blink
Blink
YAWN
GROAN
FINE WINSTON! I'm UP!
I think we're ready for kids....and I've learned my lesson about sleep aides.
*This version of spelling denotes a term of endearment versus an insult. What?! It's a body part!
I was feeling all 20 of the chatarungas I had done the night before and decided to take some Advil.
Smart idea.
But then I thought about how I had not been sleeping through the night for the last two weeks and decided to take Advil PM.
Not a smart idea.
Shawn has been pulling all-nighters that lead to early morning departures into the office. I mean REALLY early. Before-the-birds-are-up early. Well, except for that BlueBird who sits perched outside my open window. That *asshol thinks he's a rooster.
For the past week or so the dogs have been otherwise unaffected by Shawn's early mornings and simply sleep. Winston only stirs to move from his bed into ours where he'll plop down with a heave and ho causing Oscar to scramble for his life hoping not to be smooshed.
Well this morning Winston:
- was thirsty
- needed to go outside
- wanted to find his bone
- wanted to play
Blink
Blink
YAWN
GROAN
FINE WINSTON! I'm UP!
I think we're ready for kids....and I've learned my lesson about sleep aides.
*This version of spelling denotes a term of endearment versus an insult. What?! It's a body part!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Fear v. Faith
No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.
-Edmund Burke
You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.
-Mary Manin Morrissey
-Edmund Burke
You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.
-Mary Manin Morrissey
Friday, June 25, 2010
Panic Buttons and Changes
A few weeks ago we had a visit from Aunt Lissa. During that trip I took her to Palapas for a few cocktails with a view. Tessy joined us and we ran into Dea P. one of my former teachers and my Godmother's BFF. I walked her over to meet Shawn and she brought up something about me teaching. It was a very brief conversation. Tessy and I sat down and rejoined Shawn and Aunt Lissa.
Aunt Lissa looked at me with the Angleson stare and asked me point blank why I wasn't back in the classroom. I sighed, looked at Tessy and said that someday I will. She persisted as a good Aunt should to which Tessy blurted "Cares you need to just DO IT, get OUT THERE! It's not that big of a pay cut. I know you want to be at the High School but it's not going to just fall into your lap." I noticed Aunt Lissa give Tess a look of admiration and agreement as she sipped her T&T. "I know Tessy. I KNOW". We moved on to another subject entirely and went about our night.
The next morning Aunt Lissa and I were in the car waiting for Shawn to come out of the house and take us to breakfast when she asked me what I had thought about Tessy's comment. I told her that it would most likely be a significant paycut but that I understood that and of course wasn't why I'd get back into teaching. She reminded me what Tessy had said about getting back into it even if it wasn't my ultimate job. It rang in my brain. I knew she was right.
Aunt Lissa left that day but something stayed with me. Two weeks ago I began looking for secondary teaching positions here in Surf City. To my utter surprise there was one. Not only was there one but it was an opening at a school Tess's mom (Aunt Linda) has many times in the past told me I'd be a fantastic fit for. In addition it is also where my previous co-teacher works. I immediately emailed my former co-teacher who seemed just as excited as I was to find the opening and called Aunt Linda to book some time for her to meet with me and write a letter of recommendation.
Now, there isn't much in this world that rocks my confidence to the core but applying for jobs is absolutely one of them. I emailed the Director of the school who promptly returned my email with an invitation to drop of my application and discuss the position with me further in two weeks time. I got my resume, letter of introduction, credentials and letters of recommendation together.
To know me is to know that I put the cart before the horse. I call this planning. Johnny calls it my panic button. To his credit I used not be in such control of my emotions. I of course discussed this possible career change with Shawn, Winston and Oscar to all lengths. One of the biggest concerns I discussed was the fact that I had only been at my current job 11 months. A good friend of ours helped me get the job. Would this shed him in a poor light if I left so soon? I care about other people and he helped me when I needed it most. I mean, mind you I haven't even met with the director yet! Who spends all this energy worrying about things so soon? This girl.
On Tuesday I met with the director told her about myself and why I'd be a great fit. She was easy to be around and the conversation flowed quite nicely. She told me she was hoping to start interviews Friday.
Thursday I came to work to hear the office drama queen (no, it's NOT me!) yappin' too fast about something I couldn't understand. I walked by the group of people she managed to wrangle around a computer and heard "and we're ALL going to have to COMMUTE now!" I stopped in my tracks to listen further. Just before her head exploded with panic I walked away to my much more calm colleagues and quietly asked what she was going on about. Our CEO sent out an email stating that we were in fact consolidating with our Silicon Valley counterparts and moving our corporate office over the hill.
I didn't panic. I didn't blink multiple times. Instead I smiled inside. This is my way back into teaching without making anyone look bad! I was actually thrilled to have a sign. The rest of our office was in chaos as one peer looked up our new site and another booked happy hour to drown our frustrations. As the day went on I realized I still hadn't received correspondence of any kind regarding an interview. I started to think about having to commute again. One moment I was scared about commuting and the next hopeful that I'd hear back about an interview. All in the confines of my own head and teeny tiny cubicle.
I couldn't express any of this with my friends at work. To be honest I couldn't express this outside my own world. I just didn't have the words. I don't believe in coincidence, I KNOW that things happen for a reason. What I don't know is why I can't be the one to determine the reason. :-) That's just my human limitations. Without admitting it I had put all my hope into this teaching position. Everything looked like it could happen. I had some heavy artillery. the co-teacher on my side, Aunt Linda who is a VERY prominent figure in the district and someone who has worked very closely with the Director herself. There aren't many secondary teaching positions available over here so I'll just have to remain faithful that it WILL happen. Commuting is of course an option, but one I had hoped with all hopes that I had left behind me. I told Tessy last night that I couldn't wait to see what has transpired 6 months from now and how I was so nervous to interview again. She told me interviewing was like dating in the regard that you'll always ask: "Why didn't they call? I thought it went GREAT!" And she's right. I'm sure the comparison has been made many times before but it makes sense. Here's to another round of courting. Sigh.
Stay tuned, it's an exciting time in the Anglewood household!
Love,
Cares
Aunt Lissa looked at me with the Angleson stare and asked me point blank why I wasn't back in the classroom. I sighed, looked at Tessy and said that someday I will. She persisted as a good Aunt should to which Tessy blurted "Cares you need to just DO IT, get OUT THERE! It's not that big of a pay cut. I know you want to be at the High School but it's not going to just fall into your lap." I noticed Aunt Lissa give Tess a look of admiration and agreement as she sipped her T&T. "I know Tessy. I KNOW". We moved on to another subject entirely and went about our night.
The next morning Aunt Lissa and I were in the car waiting for Shawn to come out of the house and take us to breakfast when she asked me what I had thought about Tessy's comment. I told her that it would most likely be a significant paycut but that I understood that and of course wasn't why I'd get back into teaching. She reminded me what Tessy had said about getting back into it even if it wasn't my ultimate job. It rang in my brain. I knew she was right.
Aunt Lissa left that day but something stayed with me. Two weeks ago I began looking for secondary teaching positions here in Surf City. To my utter surprise there was one. Not only was there one but it was an opening at a school Tess's mom (Aunt Linda) has many times in the past told me I'd be a fantastic fit for. In addition it is also where my previous co-teacher works. I immediately emailed my former co-teacher who seemed just as excited as I was to find the opening and called Aunt Linda to book some time for her to meet with me and write a letter of recommendation.
Now, there isn't much in this world that rocks my confidence to the core but applying for jobs is absolutely one of them. I emailed the Director of the school who promptly returned my email with an invitation to drop of my application and discuss the position with me further in two weeks time. I got my resume, letter of introduction, credentials and letters of recommendation together.
To know me is to know that I put the cart before the horse. I call this planning. Johnny calls it my panic button. To his credit I used not be in such control of my emotions. I of course discussed this possible career change with Shawn, Winston and Oscar to all lengths. One of the biggest concerns I discussed was the fact that I had only been at my current job 11 months. A good friend of ours helped me get the job. Would this shed him in a poor light if I left so soon? I care about other people and he helped me when I needed it most. I mean, mind you I haven't even met with the director yet! Who spends all this energy worrying about things so soon? This girl.
On Tuesday I met with the director told her about myself and why I'd be a great fit. She was easy to be around and the conversation flowed quite nicely. She told me she was hoping to start interviews Friday.
Thursday I came to work to hear the office drama queen (no, it's NOT me!) yappin' too fast about something I couldn't understand. I walked by the group of people she managed to wrangle around a computer and heard "and we're ALL going to have to COMMUTE now!" I stopped in my tracks to listen further. Just before her head exploded with panic I walked away to my much more calm colleagues and quietly asked what she was going on about. Our CEO sent out an email stating that we were in fact consolidating with our Silicon Valley counterparts and moving our corporate office over the hill.
I didn't panic. I didn't blink multiple times. Instead I smiled inside. This is my way back into teaching without making anyone look bad! I was actually thrilled to have a sign. The rest of our office was in chaos as one peer looked up our new site and another booked happy hour to drown our frustrations. As the day went on I realized I still hadn't received correspondence of any kind regarding an interview. I started to think about having to commute again. One moment I was scared about commuting and the next hopeful that I'd hear back about an interview. All in the confines of my own head and teeny tiny cubicle.
I couldn't express any of this with my friends at work. To be honest I couldn't express this outside my own world. I just didn't have the words. I don't believe in coincidence, I KNOW that things happen for a reason. What I don't know is why I can't be the one to determine the reason. :-) That's just my human limitations. Without admitting it I had put all my hope into this teaching position. Everything looked like it could happen. I had some heavy artillery. the co-teacher on my side, Aunt Linda who is a VERY prominent figure in the district and someone who has worked very closely with the Director herself. There aren't many secondary teaching positions available over here so I'll just have to remain faithful that it WILL happen. Commuting is of course an option, but one I had hoped with all hopes that I had left behind me. I told Tessy last night that I couldn't wait to see what has transpired 6 months from now and how I was so nervous to interview again. She told me interviewing was like dating in the regard that you'll always ask: "Why didn't they call? I thought it went GREAT!" And she's right. I'm sure the comparison has been made many times before but it makes sense. Here's to another round of courting. Sigh.
Stay tuned, it's an exciting time in the Anglewood household!
Love,
Cares
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