It's been a long trying week for the Blackwoods. Shawn's cousins have suffered a mighty big loss and it's been nothing short of heart-breaking. If you wouldn't mind sending your thoughts and prayers their way I know it won't go unnoticed.
I sometimes struggle with my Faith but am nothing short of grateful for it when there's such a great loss with no explanation. That's the hardest time for me to believe and keep that faith, but I cling to it like a child clings to his mama. There's been a lot of tears and praying going on in my house and you can bet if you're reading this, you've been in them.
Hug your loved ones oh so tightly tonight because life is short and sometimes very unfair.
All my love,
Cares
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Friday, December 10, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
You Get What You Need....
I learned as a kid the old cliches "Life isn't fair" and "You can't always get what you want" which usually ended up in a tantrum of some sort. As an adult I get that in order to get past these truths of life it helps to tell ourselves that the silver lining is yet another cliche "Everything ends up as it should".
I'm usually pretty good at looking at the bright side...so much so that former colleagues dubbed me Pollyanna, a nickname I was happy with actually. It's fun to be the one who stays calm when everything else is falling apart. Lately I feel like there's nothing worse than rejection and while I don't take my professional life personally, I'm beginning to take things to heart. I've taken to refreshing my email, checking my cell for a missed call about a million times a day....sigh.
I know I'll end up where I'm "supposed" to, but it's the meantime that's killin' me and yes, I know the lessons only come during the meantime. I'll try to channel Pollyanna and stay positive. Wish me luck...
I'm usually pretty good at looking at the bright side...so much so that former colleagues dubbed me Pollyanna, a nickname I was happy with actually. It's fun to be the one who stays calm when everything else is falling apart. Lately I feel like there's nothing worse than rejection and while I don't take my professional life personally, I'm beginning to take things to heart. I've taken to refreshing my email, checking my cell for a missed call about a million times a day....sigh.
I know I'll end up where I'm "supposed" to, but it's the meantime that's killin' me and yes, I know the lessons only come during the meantime. I'll try to channel Pollyanna and stay positive. Wish me luck...
Friday, June 25, 2010
Panic Buttons and Changes
A few weeks ago we had a visit from Aunt Lissa. During that trip I took her to Palapas for a few cocktails with a view. Tessy joined us and we ran into Dea P. one of my former teachers and my Godmother's BFF. I walked her over to meet Shawn and she brought up something about me teaching. It was a very brief conversation. Tessy and I sat down and rejoined Shawn and Aunt Lissa.
Aunt Lissa looked at me with the Angleson stare and asked me point blank why I wasn't back in the classroom. I sighed, looked at Tessy and said that someday I will. She persisted as a good Aunt should to which Tessy blurted "Cares you need to just DO IT, get OUT THERE! It's not that big of a pay cut. I know you want to be at the High School but it's not going to just fall into your lap." I noticed Aunt Lissa give Tess a look of admiration and agreement as she sipped her T&T. "I know Tessy. I KNOW". We moved on to another subject entirely and went about our night.
The next morning Aunt Lissa and I were in the car waiting for Shawn to come out of the house and take us to breakfast when she asked me what I had thought about Tessy's comment. I told her that it would most likely be a significant paycut but that I understood that and of course wasn't why I'd get back into teaching. She reminded me what Tessy had said about getting back into it even if it wasn't my ultimate job. It rang in my brain. I knew she was right.
Aunt Lissa left that day but something stayed with me. Two weeks ago I began looking for secondary teaching positions here in Surf City. To my utter surprise there was one. Not only was there one but it was an opening at a school Tess's mom (Aunt Linda) has many times in the past told me I'd be a fantastic fit for. In addition it is also where my previous co-teacher works. I immediately emailed my former co-teacher who seemed just as excited as I was to find the opening and called Aunt Linda to book some time for her to meet with me and write a letter of recommendation.
Now, there isn't much in this world that rocks my confidence to the core but applying for jobs is absolutely one of them. I emailed the Director of the school who promptly returned my email with an invitation to drop of my application and discuss the position with me further in two weeks time. I got my resume, letter of introduction, credentials and letters of recommendation together.
To know me is to know that I put the cart before the horse. I call this planning. Johnny calls it my panic button. To his credit I used not be in such control of my emotions. I of course discussed this possible career change with Shawn, Winston and Oscar to all lengths. One of the biggest concerns I discussed was the fact that I had only been at my current job 11 months. A good friend of ours helped me get the job. Would this shed him in a poor light if I left so soon? I care about other people and he helped me when I needed it most. I mean, mind you I haven't even met with the director yet! Who spends all this energy worrying about things so soon? This girl.
On Tuesday I met with the director told her about myself and why I'd be a great fit. She was easy to be around and the conversation flowed quite nicely. She told me she was hoping to start interviews Friday.
Thursday I came to work to hear the office drama queen (no, it's NOT me!) yappin' too fast about something I couldn't understand. I walked by the group of people she managed to wrangle around a computer and heard "and we're ALL going to have to COMMUTE now!" I stopped in my tracks to listen further. Just before her head exploded with panic I walked away to my much more calm colleagues and quietly asked what she was going on about. Our CEO sent out an email stating that we were in fact consolidating with our Silicon Valley counterparts and moving our corporate office over the hill.
I didn't panic. I didn't blink multiple times. Instead I smiled inside. This is my way back into teaching without making anyone look bad! I was actually thrilled to have a sign. The rest of our office was in chaos as one peer looked up our new site and another booked happy hour to drown our frustrations. As the day went on I realized I still hadn't received correspondence of any kind regarding an interview. I started to think about having to commute again. One moment I was scared about commuting and the next hopeful that I'd hear back about an interview. All in the confines of my own head and teeny tiny cubicle.
I couldn't express any of this with my friends at work. To be honest I couldn't express this outside my own world. I just didn't have the words. I don't believe in coincidence, I KNOW that things happen for a reason. What I don't know is why I can't be the one to determine the reason. :-) That's just my human limitations. Without admitting it I had put all my hope into this teaching position. Everything looked like it could happen. I had some heavy artillery. the co-teacher on my side, Aunt Linda who is a VERY prominent figure in the district and someone who has worked very closely with the Director herself. There aren't many secondary teaching positions available over here so I'll just have to remain faithful that it WILL happen. Commuting is of course an option, but one I had hoped with all hopes that I had left behind me. I told Tessy last night that I couldn't wait to see what has transpired 6 months from now and how I was so nervous to interview again. She told me interviewing was like dating in the regard that you'll always ask: "Why didn't they call? I thought it went GREAT!" And she's right. I'm sure the comparison has been made many times before but it makes sense. Here's to another round of courting. Sigh.
Stay tuned, it's an exciting time in the Anglewood household!
Love,
Cares
Aunt Lissa looked at me with the Angleson stare and asked me point blank why I wasn't back in the classroom. I sighed, looked at Tessy and said that someday I will. She persisted as a good Aunt should to which Tessy blurted "Cares you need to just DO IT, get OUT THERE! It's not that big of a pay cut. I know you want to be at the High School but it's not going to just fall into your lap." I noticed Aunt Lissa give Tess a look of admiration and agreement as she sipped her T&T. "I know Tessy. I KNOW". We moved on to another subject entirely and went about our night.
The next morning Aunt Lissa and I were in the car waiting for Shawn to come out of the house and take us to breakfast when she asked me what I had thought about Tessy's comment. I told her that it would most likely be a significant paycut but that I understood that and of course wasn't why I'd get back into teaching. She reminded me what Tessy had said about getting back into it even if it wasn't my ultimate job. It rang in my brain. I knew she was right.
Aunt Lissa left that day but something stayed with me. Two weeks ago I began looking for secondary teaching positions here in Surf City. To my utter surprise there was one. Not only was there one but it was an opening at a school Tess's mom (Aunt Linda) has many times in the past told me I'd be a fantastic fit for. In addition it is also where my previous co-teacher works. I immediately emailed my former co-teacher who seemed just as excited as I was to find the opening and called Aunt Linda to book some time for her to meet with me and write a letter of recommendation.
Now, there isn't much in this world that rocks my confidence to the core but applying for jobs is absolutely one of them. I emailed the Director of the school who promptly returned my email with an invitation to drop of my application and discuss the position with me further in two weeks time. I got my resume, letter of introduction, credentials and letters of recommendation together.
To know me is to know that I put the cart before the horse. I call this planning. Johnny calls it my panic button. To his credit I used not be in such control of my emotions. I of course discussed this possible career change with Shawn, Winston and Oscar to all lengths. One of the biggest concerns I discussed was the fact that I had only been at my current job 11 months. A good friend of ours helped me get the job. Would this shed him in a poor light if I left so soon? I care about other people and he helped me when I needed it most. I mean, mind you I haven't even met with the director yet! Who spends all this energy worrying about things so soon? This girl.
On Tuesday I met with the director told her about myself and why I'd be a great fit. She was easy to be around and the conversation flowed quite nicely. She told me she was hoping to start interviews Friday.
Thursday I came to work to hear the office drama queen (no, it's NOT me!) yappin' too fast about something I couldn't understand. I walked by the group of people she managed to wrangle around a computer and heard "and we're ALL going to have to COMMUTE now!" I stopped in my tracks to listen further. Just before her head exploded with panic I walked away to my much more calm colleagues and quietly asked what she was going on about. Our CEO sent out an email stating that we were in fact consolidating with our Silicon Valley counterparts and moving our corporate office over the hill.
I didn't panic. I didn't blink multiple times. Instead I smiled inside. This is my way back into teaching without making anyone look bad! I was actually thrilled to have a sign. The rest of our office was in chaos as one peer looked up our new site and another booked happy hour to drown our frustrations. As the day went on I realized I still hadn't received correspondence of any kind regarding an interview. I started to think about having to commute again. One moment I was scared about commuting and the next hopeful that I'd hear back about an interview. All in the confines of my own head and teeny tiny cubicle.
I couldn't express any of this with my friends at work. To be honest I couldn't express this outside my own world. I just didn't have the words. I don't believe in coincidence, I KNOW that things happen for a reason. What I don't know is why I can't be the one to determine the reason. :-) That's just my human limitations. Without admitting it I had put all my hope into this teaching position. Everything looked like it could happen. I had some heavy artillery. the co-teacher on my side, Aunt Linda who is a VERY prominent figure in the district and someone who has worked very closely with the Director herself. There aren't many secondary teaching positions available over here so I'll just have to remain faithful that it WILL happen. Commuting is of course an option, but one I had hoped with all hopes that I had left behind me. I told Tessy last night that I couldn't wait to see what has transpired 6 months from now and how I was so nervous to interview again. She told me interviewing was like dating in the regard that you'll always ask: "Why didn't they call? I thought it went GREAT!" And she's right. I'm sure the comparison has been made many times before but it makes sense. Here's to another round of courting. Sigh.
Stay tuned, it's an exciting time in the Anglewood household!
Love,
Cares
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
And we're back....
Is this thing on?
Well for those of you who have given up on me ever posting something new, I hope your faith can be renewed. :-) There's been a lot going on in the last however long it's been; and it would take me forever to catch you all up. I'll sum it up with the story of my new job and how I figured out how powerful faith can be.
Back in May I randomly received an email through a social website from a recruiter offering information on an open position for a technical writer and eLearning content developer. Of course I responded immediately but heard nothing back. I forgot about this inquiry and moved on with my ELL course I was required to take in order to apply for my teaching credential. One month later I received an email from the recruiter with a message that she had been out of the country, but that she'd love to talk to me more about the position. If I recall correctly the email came in at 4 on a Friday so I told myself I'd call back on Monday.
First thing Monday morning she called. I was impressed with the quickness of her efforts. She told me a little bit about the company; a big high tech company located in Sunnyvale (an hour at best from my house...sigh...) who creates proxy servers for blah blah blah blah. I didn't really care...I was getting antsy to get out of the house and start making money again.
I was asked for writing samples to provide for a phone interview but everything I'd done in my previous jobs were internal and therefore under non-disclosure agreement. To that Tess the recruiter offered up some advice: "Okay, well why don't you just mock up an eLearning module on one of our proxy servers, Okay?!"
Uh what...?Okay what else do I have to do? I downloaded a free trial of Captivate and went on my way. I showed it to a couple people and sent it on its way.
Tess the recruiter loved my mock up and set up a phone interview with the hiring manager who had a degree in engineering but went back for her certificate in technical writing. Great. My experience as a tech writer is quite conservative; My experience is less technical and more marketing, training, non-technical aspects. She asked me what I knew about the company blah blah blah.
I thought I bombed it. I didn't feel like we connected, even on the phone. But instead Tess the recruiter called me back and set up an in person interview.
That one I bombed.
I have never been as ill prepared in my life. The first 45 minutes of the hour long interview went beautifully. I even killed it when the Director (what would be my manager's manager) asked me to give an example of a dangling participle. (He cheated and brought his laptop in the meeting. English is his second language and he wanted to make sure I was capable of writing to a global audience.) Then he asked me if I knew what an IP address is. I said well, I know I need it to get online. This sent a chuckle through the room. Then he asked me to discuss a DNS server.
Back in May I randomly received an email through a social website from a recruiter offering information on an open position for a technical writer and eLearning content developer. Of course I responded immediately but heard nothing back. I forgot about this inquiry and moved on with my ELL course I was required to take in order to apply for my teaching credential. One month later I received an email from the recruiter with a message that she had been out of the country, but that she'd love to talk to me more about the position. If I recall correctly the email came in at 4 on a Friday so I told myself I'd call back on Monday.
First thing Monday morning she called. I was impressed with the quickness of her efforts. She told me a little bit about the company; a big high tech company located in Sunnyvale (an hour at best from my house...sigh...) who creates proxy servers for blah blah blah blah. I didn't really care...I was getting antsy to get out of the house and start making money again.
I was asked for writing samples to provide for a phone interview but everything I'd done in my previous jobs were internal and therefore under non-disclosure agreement. To that Tess the recruiter offered up some advice: "Okay, well why don't you just mock up an eLearning module on one of our proxy servers, Okay?!"
Uh what...?Okay what else do I have to do? I downloaded a free trial of Captivate and went on my way. I showed it to a couple people and sent it on its way.
Tess the recruiter loved my mock up and set up a phone interview with the hiring manager who had a degree in engineering but went back for her certificate in technical writing. Great. My experience as a tech writer is quite conservative; My experience is less technical and more marketing, training, non-technical aspects. She asked me what I knew about the company blah blah blah.
I thought I bombed it. I didn't feel like we connected, even on the phone. But instead Tess the recruiter called me back and set up an in person interview.
That one I bombed.
I have never been as ill prepared in my life. The first 45 minutes of the hour long interview went beautifully. I even killed it when the Director (what would be my manager's manager) asked me to give an example of a dangling participle. (He cheated and brought his laptop in the meeting. English is his second language and he wanted to make sure I was capable of writing to a global audience.) Then he asked me if I knew what an IP address is. I said well, I know I need it to get online. This sent a chuckle through the room. Then he asked me to discuss a DNS server.
Blink
Blink
Blink blink blink blink
Blink
Blink blink blink blink
Finally I smiled and said: "It's fairly obvious by looking at my resume that I do not have a strong background in highly technical writing, but what I lack in that area I more than make up for in my ability to learn...quickly. I'm not going to pretend I know what a DNS server is or try to describe it to you. "
Blink
Blink
GULP
Blink
GULP
He smiled and with his big personality said that he appreciated my honesty. Tess the recruiter piped in and said it's often more important to be able to know what you don't know and not try to fake it.
I guess I hadn't completely bombed it.
Everyone had been impressed with the initiative I took to download a free trial, attend an hour long online training and mock up a module based on their proxy server.
I was not out of the woods yet.
The team was sold, but not completely. Tess the recruiter sent me a powerpoint 4 slides long with various networking images and asked me to write the documentation that went with them.
I guess I hadn't completely bombed it.
Everyone had been impressed with the initiative I took to download a free trial, attend an hour long online training and mock up a module based on their proxy server.
I was not out of the woods yet.
The team was sold, but not completely. Tess the recruiter sent me a powerpoint 4 slides long with various networking images and asked me to write the documentation that went with them.
Sigh
Groan
Groan
Me: I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS THIS IS RIDICULOUS JUST GIVE ME THE JOB ALREADY!
Shawn: Caroline. They can do this to you, it's a horrible market right now.
ME: THANKS THAT HELPS A BUNCH
Shawn: Well, it's just a hard time to find work, there are a lot of people in your position right now.
Me: AGAIN, THANKS THAT HELPS A BUNCH
Silence
Me: Well do you think you can come home and help me?
Shawn: Sure, I'd love to.
I received this the day before Mom's birthday and I had planned to spend the day with her and make a lovely surf and turf dinner. Shawn looked over the powerpoint with me and we concurred it would take me at least 2 days to mock something up. I kept asking myself the question: how badly do I even WANT this? I wrestled and wrestled with that question because there are obvious pros AND cons.
This company has a much different mentality than companies I've worked for. Their motto is "work hard, work hard" when I've grown accustomed to "work hard, play hard". But it was an income and another outlet for growth. But there was no way I could finish what was given to me in the time frame.
I decided to make the call to the recruiter knowing I wouldn't get the job at this point. She thanked me and said she'd be in touch.
Relief washed over me just seconds before the pangs of guilt and frustration caught my breath.
I made dinner, relaxed with my family and heard my phone ring.
Tess the recruiter.
She had not given up on me and told me that if I could explain to the manager's manager how a DNS server worked I was still in.
I had to follow this through now, right? RIGHT??
She called the next day as Shawn and I drove out of town wanting to know when a good time was....today at 4?
I put the phone interview off until Monday when I'd have some time to prepare.
I killed it. He cut me off telling me I was TOO descriptive. Awesome. Then he asked me why I had ended my sentence with a preposition. UGH come ON guy this is where I'm knowledgeable. I sweetly told him that I had ended the sentence with a prepositional PHRASE, not the preposition itself. It took me about 10 minutes to explain this and I was frustrated. We thanked each other and hung up the phone.
Tess the recruiter set up one more round of phone interviews the following day with 2 tech writers from the team.
Shawn: Caroline. They can do this to you, it's a horrible market right now.
ME: THANKS THAT HELPS A BUNCH
Shawn: Well, it's just a hard time to find work, there are a lot of people in your position right now.
Me: AGAIN, THANKS THAT HELPS A BUNCH
Silence
Me: Well do you think you can come home and help me?
Shawn: Sure, I'd love to.
I received this the day before Mom's birthday and I had planned to spend the day with her and make a lovely surf and turf dinner. Shawn looked over the powerpoint with me and we concurred it would take me at least 2 days to mock something up. I kept asking myself the question: how badly do I even WANT this? I wrestled and wrestled with that question because there are obvious pros AND cons.
This company has a much different mentality than companies I've worked for. Their motto is "work hard, work hard" when I've grown accustomed to "work hard, play hard". But it was an income and another outlet for growth. But there was no way I could finish what was given to me in the time frame.
I decided to make the call to the recruiter knowing I wouldn't get the job at this point. She thanked me and said she'd be in touch.
Relief washed over me just seconds before the pangs of guilt and frustration caught my breath.
I made dinner, relaxed with my family and heard my phone ring.
Tess the recruiter.
She had not given up on me and told me that if I could explain to the manager's manager how a DNS server worked I was still in.
I had to follow this through now, right? RIGHT??
She called the next day as Shawn and I drove out of town wanting to know when a good time was....today at 4?
I put the phone interview off until Monday when I'd have some time to prepare.
I killed it. He cut me off telling me I was TOO descriptive. Awesome. Then he asked me why I had ended my sentence with a preposition. UGH come ON guy this is where I'm knowledgeable. I sweetly told him that I had ended the sentence with a prepositional PHRASE, not the preposition itself. It took me about 10 minutes to explain this and I was frustrated. We thanked each other and hung up the phone.
Tess the recruiter set up one more round of phone interviews the following day with 2 tech writers from the team.
Sigh
The phone interview went well and then I confirmed my suspicions.
The question I love to ask when applying for a tech writing job is how well the engineers work with the tech writers. I ask potential co-workers to describe two experiences they've had: one positive and one negative. Turns out the engineers at this company expect you to be the subject matter expert before even going to them.
Just as I suspected. This would be a GIANT learning curve for me; and usually I'm not afraid of those, but this one just didn't FEEL right. Then again, it's a job.
Tess the recruiter called me back the next day and verbally offered me the position at 10K less than the lowest point on the range I had given. I accepted and she must have noticed my apprehension because she kept asking me if I was excited. I reassured her I was and thanked her. I immediately called Lisa and Ben and let them know that Shawn and I would indeed be able to go on vacation with them the next month since I now had a job.
I spoke too soon. Tess the recruiter called the next day.
Tess the recruiter: Hi there, I just want to keep the lines of communication very clear. This position isn't in the bag yet, but I will keep you informed.
WHHHHAAAAATTTTT???!!!!
Me: But you've already given me a verbal offer. What does that mean? You're waiting for my background check to clear?
Tess the recruiter: We are waiting on the CEO to approve the position.
I was sick to my stomach, but what could I do?
Two weeks later Tess the recruiter called saying the position was not yet approved and I should go about my job search. So I did.
My credential was months from being finalized so I applied for a tech writing position here IN SANTA CRUZ COUNTY! That meant no more commuting!
Two weeks after my conversation with Tess the recruiter, I had my first phone interview with the Santa Cruz company. As I'm in the middle of the call my other line rings. Guess who!!!
Tess the recruiter.
She called to tell me the job had been approved and it was all mine. Now what?!
Well I put her off as long as I could. 2 weeks to be exact. In that time I had my first round of in-person interviews and was on my way for a second and final round.
I went around and around trying to figure out what to do. I had to create more mock documentation and sell myself for a position with a job description that outlined skills I had minimal experience doing. But I decided I would just have some faith: Faith that if I turned down Tess the recruiter's position and I didn't get this other one that I'd be where I needed to be soon. Faith that I would get an offer for the position or be better off in the long run. Faith that Shawn and I would be okay. It was an amazing release to tell Tess the recruiter that I was going with another offer. (One I hadn't received yet.)
One week later I was offered the project management position here in SC County and they came in OVER my salary range.
That's what faith can do, and that's how fast it can work.
I still have my goal to teach, and I will get there. My credential has been issued but I still have to become ELL certified and go through a county orientation.
For now, I'm a happy girl right where I am.
The question I love to ask when applying for a tech writing job is how well the engineers work with the tech writers. I ask potential co-workers to describe two experiences they've had: one positive and one negative. Turns out the engineers at this company expect you to be the subject matter expert before even going to them.
Just as I suspected. This would be a GIANT learning curve for me; and usually I'm not afraid of those, but this one just didn't FEEL right. Then again, it's a job.
Tess the recruiter called me back the next day and verbally offered me the position at 10K less than the lowest point on the range I had given. I accepted and she must have noticed my apprehension because she kept asking me if I was excited. I reassured her I was and thanked her. I immediately called Lisa and Ben and let them know that Shawn and I would indeed be able to go on vacation with them the next month since I now had a job.
I spoke too soon. Tess the recruiter called the next day.
Tess the recruiter: Hi there, I just want to keep the lines of communication very clear. This position isn't in the bag yet, but I will keep you informed.
WHHHHAAAAATTTTT???!!!!
Me: But you've already given me a verbal offer. What does that mean? You're waiting for my background check to clear?
Tess the recruiter: We are waiting on the CEO to approve the position.
I was sick to my stomach, but what could I do?
Two weeks later Tess the recruiter called saying the position was not yet approved and I should go about my job search. So I did.
My credential was months from being finalized so I applied for a tech writing position here IN SANTA CRUZ COUNTY! That meant no more commuting!
Two weeks after my conversation with Tess the recruiter, I had my first phone interview with the Santa Cruz company. As I'm in the middle of the call my other line rings. Guess who!!!
Tess the recruiter.
She called to tell me the job had been approved and it was all mine. Now what?!
Well I put her off as long as I could. 2 weeks to be exact. In that time I had my first round of in-person interviews and was on my way for a second and final round.
I went around and around trying to figure out what to do. I had to create more mock documentation and sell myself for a position with a job description that outlined skills I had minimal experience doing. But I decided I would just have some faith: Faith that if I turned down Tess the recruiter's position and I didn't get this other one that I'd be where I needed to be soon. Faith that I would get an offer for the position or be better off in the long run. Faith that Shawn and I would be okay. It was an amazing release to tell Tess the recruiter that I was going with another offer. (One I hadn't received yet.)
One week later I was offered the project management position here in SC County and they came in OVER my salary range.
That's what faith can do, and that's how fast it can work.
I still have my goal to teach, and I will get there. My credential has been issued but I still have to become ELL certified and go through a county orientation.
For now, I'm a happy girl right where I am.
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