Robert the Neighbor

So it's really not a secret that Shawn and I have raised two of the most spoiled, co-dependent pups on the planet. Oscar is happiest when he's lying down by your side or even better: in your lap. He's a lap dog after all. A 20-pound-sheds-like-a-buffalo lap dog. :-)

When we brought Winston home I was out of work and therefore with him EVERY DAY. I would leave for a few hours at a time but he stayed in his crate. When I went back to work he went to "school" and made friends with Bella the St. Bernard and Gunnar the German Shepard. It was there that he learned the best thing to do while cooped up in a run in between play times was to bark. LOUDLY. LOUDER THAN THAT DOGANDTHATDOGANDTHATDOG UNTIL THEY LET ME OUT!

Well now that we've moved to the other side of the freeway we've built him a beautiful run and has to be on his own for 10 hours a day. Sometimes longer. I knew he barked and whined but figured he'd just grow out of it and get used to some alone time.

Last Friday as I was running all over the house getting ready to leave for the Sharks game work I heard a knock at the front door.

Cares: (looking confused thinking WHO is HERE?) Uhhh who's there?
Robert the neighbor: You're NEIGHBOR
Cares: (opening the door thinking OH CRAP) Hi!
Robert the neighbor: Hi there.I'm Robert I live next door. Hey nice Sharks Jersey, they better win today! So you're renting Louann's place? Wow I bet her boy must be up to here now.
Cares: Hi Robert, I'm Caroline. Oh, yeah my husband Shawn and I are renting from Louann, you know her pretty well then?
Robert the neighbor: Oh YES. I mean I helped her with all that yard back there. Is she still in Sacramento? Yeah I bet that boy of hers is so tall now. Sheesh.
Cares: Ummm well I didn't know she had a son, but I believe she's in Santa Cruz now. At least that's where our checks are going.
Robert the neighbor: Hmm. Well you know that dog of yours sure barks a lot....
Cares: Yeah...I'm so sorry he's not quite used to being all alone and we're working on getting him trained...
Robert the neighbor: ...Oh no, no, no I mean I was just talking to Mike across the street over there who was saying...now what was he saying again...oh something like 'well the poor pup is probably just lonely y'know'. I  mean I hear him at 7 in the morning when you let him out and I'm already up I get up at 5 but I can hear him.
Cares: (thinking she's pretty sure that's NOT what Mike the other neighbor was saying) Wow, well I'll make sure we're much more careful about it and if it gets worse let us know and we'll figure something out.
Robert the neighbor: Oh no no no, y'know I just got divorced...
Cares:....oh I'm so very sorry to hear that
Robert the neighbor:Oh NO! It's GREAT! I mean we're great friends I just bought her a house in fact. No it's great..I've been on 4 dates...coffee dates NOT dinner dates oh no I'm not ready for that yet. Gotta keep it light. Yeah in fact (chuckles) I had emailed this woman I met on one of those crazy online places...a psychiatrist...gotta be careful with those ones...and apparently she responded but I didn't get it for a few days...you know how these computer things work...who has the time all day? Anyway I called her after I finally got it and man she let me have it. Gotta watch out for those psyche people. Jeesh. Guess that was a good sign, not to take her out, huh? Yeah so if you know any single women...well I'll let you go..just wanted to introduce myself.
Cares: Oh, well great. It's so nice to meet you Robert.
Robert the neighbor: Yeah, you and your husband can come up anytime. We'll have a beer and some BBQ. It'd be great to have you guys. Well good luck to those Sharks!
Cares:(Shutting the door)Okay see you soon!
(looking at Oscar) BLINK BLINK BLINK
WHAT THE EFF JUST HAPPENED OSCAR? 

I ended up putting Winston in the garage that day just in case. Shawn bought the bark collar on his way home that night.

We haven't taken Robert the neighbor up on his offer to have beers and many more stories yet, but I will for the sake of this blog and the comedy that I'm sure will follow. All for the writing my friends.

Is This Thing On?

Yeah, yeah, yeah  I get it. I know. My posts are sporadic.

My fun friend and Pilates trainer/Drill Sergent Jenn said it best by calling this weather Bi-Polar. She's right. Two weeks ago I was spending my lunch hours getting a tan as I ran up and down SV Blvd. It was GORGEOUS. Then it rained. Then it rained some more. Then it HAILED. Not only did it hail, but it hailed mini versions of Winston.

Blink
Blink
Blink

I'm not kidding. I haven't seen hail like that in my life. Both dogs thought we were under attack and took turns barking at their loudest levels at opposite ends of the house. One would run north the other south making sure EVERYONE within a 45 mile radius would know that SOMETHING WAS REALLY WRONG AND LET ME AT 'EM!

This is the same barking that takes place anytime Oscar sees an animal/cartoon/Pablo Sandoval on the television. We'll never break him of that habit, especially since most of the time I laugh and egg him on. Poor guy. I wonder if it torments him. I mean how would you feel if you saw something you just KNEW needed your attention and you just.couldn't.get.it.

Wow that was a fun digression. :-)

I've got a trip to the City coming up with Jules. She's taking me to see Wicked and we are staying the night. I'm so excited that every time I think about it I squeal a little bit.

If you couldn't yet tell by this post, I took full advantage of the free coffee Starbucks is doling out when you bring in your own mug. I don't regularly drink coffee and so when I do I turn into a kid who's had too much sugar and has more energy than ever before and has no way to let it out but by acting like a complete and utter lunatic and justcan'tsitstill. I'm not kidding, my right foot hasn't stopped tapping and I finished my coffee hours ago. I've already written 4 reports, had a successful 1:1 with my boss, (success = no signs of an HR rep and termination package) ate lunch, responded to emails, and finished this post. I'm not looking forward to that crash and burn later this afternoon. ;-)

Hope your Thursday is as productive as mine's been!

-Cares