So I work with a LOT of women and men who have experienced pregnancy either first or second hand making yesterday's FREAK OUT really no big deal. To those who had the inside scoop that I was pregnant.
To help calm myself down I went on a lunch time walk with my favorite colleague Niki. We laughed as I re-enacted the morning's scene that began with her walking by my cube and simply asking how I was doing. I mean, if I can't laugh at my crazy behavior what's the point? We then began talking about the very talented and actually very caring Social Media Manager who sits in front of me. He had innocently walked into work to see my tears of epic proportion and a seemingly frightened Niki trying to comfort me. At work. In front of everyone.
Niki Well, does he know you're pregnant?
Me Umm, well I never officially TOLD him but I mean doesn't EVERYONE know now?
Niki Maybe you should tell him
Blink
Blink
Blink
Me Omigosh he doesn't know and now he thinks I'm certifiable LOONEY TOONS!
There was nothing we could to to stop from laughing until our sides hurt.
Fast forward to this morning's conversation as said Social Media Manager settles in for the day:
Me: Hey sorry about yesterday morning!
SMM: Oh, no worries AT ALL. I mean we all have days like that.
Me: Yeah I just don't know how to deal with all these crazy hormonal emotions.
Crickets begin chirping throughout the office
Me: (thinking: oh man so he DOESN'T know!) Soooo I don't know if you knew but I'm pregnant
SMM: Oh, wow I DID NOT know! Congratulations! And that makes perfect sense now!
Me: Sooo you just thought I was a crazy loon then huh?!
SMM: laughing Well I mean I just figured it was a bad morning or something
Me: Well, no not really I mean nothing was really wrong or anything I just couldn't stop crying!
SMM: Bending over from laughter My ex was like that with all 3 of ours. I mean we'd be in the middle of dinner talking about trees or something and when I looked up from taking a bite she'd just be bawling!
Me: Yeah I kind of feel bad for my husband. But thank gawd! I thought I was crazy!
SMM: No, I think that part's pretty normal! But congratulations again!
Oh the comedy that is my life. I mean honestly. I can just imagine if it were me walking in on yesterday morning's irrationality. NOT knowing the back story only to find out that
a. the fool was prego and
b. there was absolutely nothing wrong.
That's pretty funny, right?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
While the Cat's Away....
Shawn's out of town for 2 nights and while this isn't a big deal, I've always hated it when he goes. He doesn't leave town very often but the codependent part of my soul absolutely hates watching him pack. The passive aggressive part of me wanted to hide all his clean laundry so he'd have nothing to pack and therefore not be able to go! That was only a thought. I made sure he had all the clean clothes he needed. :-)
Finding ways to fill my time for 2 nights wasn't hard. I even took Winston to "school" on Monday to make sure he was good and tired Monday night. He can be very high maintenance in the evenings. This is usually remedied by sticking him on his tethered leash and letting him roam "freely" out back but it's been raining which means mud, lots of mud and Shawn just shampooed the carpets for my Dad's upcoming visit. Muddy dog paws on light carpets don't really match and it makes me break out into hives and I've even been known to seize once or twice because of it. What? I like a clean house!
Anyhow, I filled my Monday with a pot of creamy potato soup shared with Tessy as we watched Monday night football and talked trash to Char online. This was topped off when Tessy asked me if I had plans the next evening. Side note: Tessy has a new BF :-) and when she told him that I hate when Shawn leaves he offered to take me to dinner the following night to help the time go by quicker. SCORE! Two dates in a row with ThankGodForTessy!
I woke up Tuesday morning feeling like I wanted to roll over and spend the entire day in bed but knew I was trying to take Friday off to spend with Dad. I yawned my way through my morning moves, patted Winston goodbye and left for work.
I should have listened to my body.
Suddenly at about 11AM a wave of Hell AKA my allergies washed over me. I was sneezing, coughing, wheezing, sniffling and couldn't find enough tissue to stop my eyes from watering out. I was getting evil glares from my co-workers whose facial expressions shot at me like daggers willing me to go home OR FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP COUGHING/SNEEZING/SNIFFLING! I've been given the okay to take Claritin, but I have a hard time taking medicine in general so you'd be a fool to think I'll easily take it now.
Well I'm the fool for not taking it. I was miserable all the rest of the day long and had to cancel my dinner date with Tessy and her BF. I went home, put on my PJs and hit the sack. At 4PM.
Blink
Blink
Blink
Winston was NOT happy. I tried to coax him with 2 new bones, wet food mixed with his dry food, I even tried to bribe him by telling him he could "play" with the orange cat that keeps teasing him out back. What? I was desperate! And that cat is really mean to stand just-that-close to the edge of Winston's tether.
We both found sleep and I didn't wake up until 9PM. With a splitting headache the size ofmy newly protruding pregnant ass Texas. I called Shawn and told him he needed to come home. Now. I don't care how, get on a plane and get home. What's so irrational about that? I think he laughed and I swear I could hear him shaking his head through the phone.
I finally got back to sleep and didn't wake up again until a bad dream woke me up at 4AM. And like a fool I tried to cuddle with Winston. Then HE needed to get up. Up and outside we go. But it was wet. So then I was mad at Lee Soloman who told me LIGHT SPRINKLES if anything would affect us. LIAR! I haven't been so angry in my whole life. What's irrational about that? His job is to tell me whether (get it?!) it will be soaked in my backyard like when Winston gets really thirsty and drinks his entire 10 gallon water bowl in one gulp or just damp like when Oscar takes a leisurely sip from his 1/4 gallon water bowl. It was soaked and I had no towel for Winston's muddy feet. AT 4AM. Thanks a lot Lee Soloman. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
He was a trooper and we worked it out.
Fast Forward to 7:30AM. Winston is in the back of the car and we're parked outside of his "school" waiting for the 2 other slow pokes who got there before us to drop their dogs off. One was a chocolate lab who's owner is ALWAYS there at 7:15 knowing full well that school doesn't open until 7:30. Then there was a woman with a snack size dog sitting on her lap in the driver's seat barking at EVERYTHING IT SAW. ANNOYING. We waited until the 2 others were safely inside and made our way in.
"Oh great Winnie, it's that kid you used to not like. I whispered out a small prayer: PLEASE LET THAT SWEET BLOND GIRL BE IN THE OFFICE ...pleasepleasepleaseplease."
The sweet blond girl was nowhere to be found and boy was taking FOR-EVER checking in Winston as I am anxiously looking out for any newsnack-sized dogs that might be making their way in the office. The boy who takes forever finally starts walking us up to the gate to take Winston into his pen when a woman and her snack-sized poodle starts making her way back. I'm not kidding. This poodle was like those small 100-Calorie Oreo cookie snack packs you can buy at the grocery store. What? They're good!
Winston mind you is the picture of calm. Me not so much. "CAN YOU WAIT UP TOP? HE'S NOT THE MOST FRIENDLY!" Now I'm not yelling but so scared that I can feel yesterday's lunch begin to rise up. Winston is sitting beautifully waiting for me to give a command. The boy who takes forever KEEPS WALKING. He has a history with Winston and knows how careful and cautious we are about him. Don't you think he might, you know, DO HIS JOB to prevent any freak out?! The lady keeps coming down clearly confused because the boy who takes forever is clueless. She gets it, turns around and waits up top. PHEW.
We walk by with no issue and Winston doesn't even give the snacked size poodle a second look. I look at the woman and say, "I'm sorry he's just not predictable".
Woman: Blink Blink Blink thinking to herself "Ummmm why is that dog even here then?"
I mean that's what I would be thinking. But Kevin the owner takes ALL dogs. Even dogs that are still intact. That's why Winston goes there. Because they love him there and work with him.
So the boy who takes forever and Winston have a history. Once, back when he was going every day, I asked how Winston was doing and if he was good with all the employees. They said all except the boy who takes forever. And they said something to the effect that Winston wasn't the only dog who took issue with him or that they didn't really like him either. So every time we saw the boy who takes forever I would get a little nervous because I knew this.
Today as I went to hand Winston off to the boy who takes forever he wouldn't go. He didn't charge him or bark or snarl or growl. He simply sat down and pulled back. Twice. I was really proud of him because most times he'll charge a person he doesn't like or at the very least bark that awfully frightening bark. Not today. He just calmly "told" me he didn't want to go with him. I walked him back into his pen and gave him a nice pat and whispered a "good job boy" in his ear. Not because he doesn't like the boy who takes forever, but because he controlled himself.
I apologized to the boy who takes forever and headed out.
Then I called Shawn and bawled my eyes out.
Blink
Blink
Blink
This heightened hormone horses*&! mixed with sleep deprivation is a whole new beast that I don't know how to handle.
I mean, do YOU think it's weird that when a coworker walks over to ask how I'm doing I start bawling my eyes out? For no real good reason? Because I don't.
Hurry home hubz. Please.
Finding ways to fill my time for 2 nights wasn't hard. I even took Winston to "school" on Monday to make sure he was good and tired Monday night. He can be very high maintenance in the evenings. This is usually remedied by sticking him on his tethered leash and letting him roam "freely" out back but it's been raining which means mud, lots of mud and Shawn just shampooed the carpets for my Dad's upcoming visit. Muddy dog paws on light carpets don't really match and it makes me break out into hives and I've even been known to seize once or twice because of it. What? I like a clean house!
Anyhow, I filled my Monday with a pot of creamy potato soup shared with Tessy as we watched Monday night football and talked trash to Char online. This was topped off when Tessy asked me if I had plans the next evening. Side note: Tessy has a new BF :-) and when she told him that I hate when Shawn leaves he offered to take me to dinner the following night to help the time go by quicker. SCORE! Two dates in a row with ThankGodForTessy!
I woke up Tuesday morning feeling like I wanted to roll over and spend the entire day in bed but knew I was trying to take Friday off to spend with Dad. I yawned my way through my morning moves, patted Winston goodbye and left for work.
I should have listened to my body.
Suddenly at about 11AM a wave of Hell AKA my allergies washed over me. I was sneezing, coughing, wheezing, sniffling and couldn't find enough tissue to stop my eyes from watering out. I was getting evil glares from my co-workers whose facial expressions shot at me like daggers willing me to go home OR FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP COUGHING/SNEEZING/SNIFFLING! I've been given the okay to take Claritin, but I have a hard time taking medicine in general so you'd be a fool to think I'll easily take it now.
Well I'm the fool for not taking it. I was miserable all the rest of the day long and had to cancel my dinner date with Tessy and her BF. I went home, put on my PJs and hit the sack. At 4PM.
Blink
Blink
Blink
Winston was NOT happy. I tried to coax him with 2 new bones, wet food mixed with his dry food, I even tried to bribe him by telling him he could "play" with the orange cat that keeps teasing him out back. What? I was desperate! And that cat is really mean to stand just-that-close to the edge of Winston's tether.
We both found sleep and I didn't wake up until 9PM. With a splitting headache the size of
I finally got back to sleep and didn't wake up again until a bad dream woke me up at 4AM. And like a fool I tried to cuddle with Winston. Then HE needed to get up. Up and outside we go. But it was wet. So then I was mad at Lee Soloman who told me LIGHT SPRINKLES if anything would affect us. LIAR! I haven't been so angry in my whole life. What's irrational about that? His job is to tell me whether (get it?!) it will be soaked in my backyard like when Winston gets really thirsty and drinks his entire 10 gallon water bowl in one gulp or just damp like when Oscar takes a leisurely sip from his 1/4 gallon water bowl. It was soaked and I had no towel for Winston's muddy feet. AT 4AM. Thanks a lot Lee Soloman. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
He was a trooper and we worked it out.
Fast Forward to 7:30AM. Winston is in the back of the car and we're parked outside of his "school" waiting for the 2 other slow pokes who got there before us to drop their dogs off. One was a chocolate lab who's owner is ALWAYS there at 7:15 knowing full well that school doesn't open until 7:30. Then there was a woman with a snack size dog sitting on her lap in the driver's seat barking at EVERYTHING IT SAW. ANNOYING. We waited until the 2 others were safely inside and made our way in.
"Oh great Winnie, it's that kid you used to not like. I whispered out a small prayer: PLEASE LET THAT SWEET BLOND GIRL BE IN THE OFFICE ...pleasepleasepleaseplease."
The sweet blond girl was nowhere to be found and boy was taking FOR-EVER checking in Winston as I am anxiously looking out for any new
Winston mind you is the picture of calm. Me not so much. "CAN YOU WAIT UP TOP? HE'S NOT THE MOST FRIENDLY!" Now I'm not yelling but so scared that I can feel yesterday's lunch begin to rise up. Winston is sitting beautifully waiting for me to give a command. The boy who takes forever KEEPS WALKING. He has a history with Winston and knows how careful and cautious we are about him. Don't you think he might, you know, DO HIS JOB to prevent any freak out?! The lady keeps coming down clearly confused because the boy who takes forever is clueless. She gets it, turns around and waits up top. PHEW.
We walk by with no issue and Winston doesn't even give the snacked size poodle a second look. I look at the woman and say, "I'm sorry he's just not predictable".
Woman: Blink Blink Blink thinking to herself "Ummmm why is that dog even here then?"
I mean that's what I would be thinking. But Kevin the owner takes ALL dogs. Even dogs that are still intact. That's why Winston goes there. Because they love him there and work with him.
So the boy who takes forever and Winston have a history. Once, back when he was going every day, I asked how Winston was doing and if he was good with all the employees. They said all except the boy who takes forever. And they said something to the effect that Winston wasn't the only dog who took issue with him or that they didn't really like him either. So every time we saw the boy who takes forever I would get a little nervous because I knew this.
Today as I went to hand Winston off to the boy who takes forever he wouldn't go. He didn't charge him or bark or snarl or growl. He simply sat down and pulled back. Twice. I was really proud of him because most times he'll charge a person he doesn't like or at the very least bark that awfully frightening bark. Not today. He just calmly "told" me he didn't want to go with him. I walked him back into his pen and gave him a nice pat and whispered a "good job boy" in his ear. Not because he doesn't like the boy who takes forever, but because he controlled himself.
I apologized to the boy who takes forever and headed out.
Then I called Shawn and bawled my eyes out.
Blink
Blink
Blink
This heightened hormone horses*&! mixed with sleep deprivation is a whole new beast that I don't know how to handle.
I mean, do YOU think it's weird that when a coworker walks over to ask how I'm doing I start bawling my eyes out? For no real good reason? Because I don't.
Hurry home hubz. Please.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Second Trimester Lies
Nothing I've read could prepare me fully for this pregnancy, and to be completely honest I haven't really done much research. I have my one and only website I visit, okay two if you count the one that compares the baby's growth and size to pieces of fruit. What? It's a cute site!
I want to experience this pregnancy as organically as I can. I mean it is MY experience after all and even though there are countless blogs and chat rooms that tell me how I SHOULD feel this week and what MIGHT happen to me this month, I want to go through it and live it as I FEEL it happening. This epiphany came to me after talking to my friend La (who is due a month after me!!!!) yesterday. I told her, I still feel so exhausted and THEY say that I get all this energy back in the second trimester. Her response was something along the lines of this is MY experience and could be, should be so different than any other one.
So. That said.
Every Saturday I begin a new week in my pregnancy. Don't ask me why the week begins on Saturdays. Something to do with the date of my last period and conception date and ovulation blah blah blah. The fancy dancy due date calculator told me so and my doctor agreed. So there it is.
This Saturday I will be 15 weeks along. WHAT? No, honestly. WHAT?! That's nearly 4 months nearly halfway.
The baby is the size of a lemon this week. A beautiful, lovely lemon.
Now if you know me I shouldn't have to tell you why this is my favorite week. I LOVE lemons. ADORE lemons. I will eat ANYTHING prepared with lemon and I could get all Bubba Gump on you but that's just annoying. I mean this post IS about the babes after all!
In the next week the baby will grow from the size of a lemon to the size of a naval orange. About an ounce of growth doubling its weight. I suppose it shouldn't be any wonder why I'm so tired!
Each week I randomly receive emails from friends asking how I'm feeling, how excited I'm getting and if we're going to find out.
We're not going to find out! We want to be surprised and are both really excited about it. For now. That could change at any second so as of now we are waiting until delivery day. :-)
I'm so very excited about the baby but not so excited about what's going on in my body. Juju asked me a few weeks ago: How are you feeling? Are you glowing? Beaming?
Nope.
More like farting, burping and bloated.
Blink
Blink
Blink
Sure not the most lady-like of responses but do you want me to be honest or sugar coat it all?
That's what I thought. Besides, lady like is boring. Don't do that.
So apparently I was supposed to wake up on the first day of my second trimester feeling a wave of energy thinking I could conquer the world.
AHEM
Well, yesterday morning at work I did indeed felt as if
a. I was on crack or
b. I just had a triple latte.
And not a Starbucks latte a Peet's latte. I was on fire and so excited to have so much energy! I got SO much work done and dealt with so many fires with so much vigor and vim! (What? It's a real word. Just ask Tessy.) I was accomplishing so much in my day when WHAM! 2PM hit. And it hit hard. It was like coming down off a triple Peet's latte. BAD. I've never been so exhausted in my life.
I was ready for the burst of energy but not ready for the MACK truck that came behind it to take me out.
It's fine really, Winston has taken to rummaging in the kitchen for his own snacks now and Oscar follows him around vacuuming up his crumbs with his pug mouth. The hubz has grown accustomed to coming home from work finding me sprawled out in various positions throughout the house with my mouth wide open and a stream of drool hanging out. It's incredibly sexy and flattering. The icing on the cake has been my own flatulence waking me up. I'm not kidding. It's THAT loud. I mean I'm not eating anything weird, it's just a new fact of life at our house that can only be defended by my growing babes. There's nothing better than startling yourself out of deep REM sleep to the sounds of your own butt hole.
Graphic, perhaps but they sure don't tell you that in What to Expect. And guess what. I would have liked to have expected THAT even if I am going for an organic experience! I sure wish the Hubz blogged. I would just LOVE to hear about this from his perspective.
Happy Friday! ;-)
I want to experience this pregnancy as organically as I can. I mean it is MY experience after all and even though there are countless blogs and chat rooms that tell me how I SHOULD feel this week and what MIGHT happen to me this month, I want to go through it and live it as I FEEL it happening. This epiphany came to me after talking to my friend La (who is due a month after me!!!!) yesterday. I told her, I still feel so exhausted and THEY say that I get all this energy back in the second trimester. Her response was something along the lines of this is MY experience and could be, should be so different than any other one.
So. That said.
Every Saturday I begin a new week in my pregnancy. Don't ask me why the week begins on Saturdays. Something to do with the date of my last period and conception date and ovulation blah blah blah. The fancy dancy due date calculator told me so and my doctor agreed. So there it is.
This Saturday I will be 15 weeks along. WHAT? No, honestly. WHAT?! That's nearly 4 months nearly halfway.
The baby is the size of a lemon this week. A beautiful, lovely lemon.
 | ||
| Lemon Poster |
Now if you know me I shouldn't have to tell you why this is my favorite week. I LOVE lemons. ADORE lemons. I will eat ANYTHING prepared with lemon and I could get all Bubba Gump on you but that's just annoying. I mean this post IS about the babes after all!
In the next week the baby will grow from the size of a lemon to the size of a naval orange. About an ounce of growth doubling its weight. I suppose it shouldn't be any wonder why I'm so tired!
Each week I randomly receive emails from friends asking how I'm feeling, how excited I'm getting and if we're going to find out.
We're not going to find out! We want to be surprised and are both really excited about it. For now. That could change at any second so as of now we are waiting until delivery day. :-)
I'm so very excited about the baby but not so excited about what's going on in my body. Juju asked me a few weeks ago: How are you feeling? Are you glowing? Beaming?
Nope.
More like farting, burping and bloated.
Blink
Blink
Blink
Sure not the most lady-like of responses but do you want me to be honest or sugar coat it all?
That's what I thought. Besides, lady like is boring. Don't do that.
So apparently I was supposed to wake up on the first day of my second trimester feeling a wave of energy thinking I could conquer the world.
AHEM
Well, yesterday morning at work I did indeed felt as if
a. I was on crack or
b. I just had a triple latte.
And not a Starbucks latte a Peet's latte. I was on fire and so excited to have so much energy! I got SO much work done and dealt with so many fires with so much vigor and vim! (What? It's a real word. Just ask Tessy.) I was accomplishing so much in my day when WHAM! 2PM hit. And it hit hard. It was like coming down off a triple Peet's latte. BAD. I've never been so exhausted in my life.
 | |||||
| Exhausted/KatClein |
I was ready for the burst of energy but not ready for the MACK truck that came behind it to take me out.
It's fine really, Winston has taken to rummaging in the kitchen for his own snacks now and Oscar follows him around vacuuming up his crumbs with his pug mouth. The hubz has grown accustomed to coming home from work finding me sprawled out in various positions throughout the house with my mouth wide open and a stream of drool hanging out. It's incredibly sexy and flattering. The icing on the cake has been my own flatulence waking me up. I'm not kidding. It's THAT loud. I mean I'm not eating anything weird, it's just a new fact of life at our house that can only be defended by my growing babes. There's nothing better than startling yourself out of deep REM sleep to the sounds of your own butt hole.
Graphic, perhaps but they sure don't tell you that in What to Expect. And guess what. I would have liked to have expected THAT even if I am going for an organic experience! I sure wish the Hubz blogged. I would just LOVE to hear about this from his perspective.
Happy Friday! ;-)
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