A Real Conversation-Christmas Version

Scene: Cares and the Hubs driving to breakfast before attempting the slew of strollers and angry elves at the mall. Cares is singing along to EVERY Christmas song on the commercial-free satellite car stereo. Even to the songs she doesn't know the words to. What? It's Christmas!

Cares: (taking a break from her solo part in The First Noel) Babe, what's your FAVORITE Christmas song
Hubs: Ummmm....
Cares:  (thinking she just KNOWS he's going to say "I dunno" like he does to EVERY random question she puts out there) interupts with What's your FAVORITE Christmas song and there's a gun pointed at your head?
Hubs: Rudolph
Cares: Blink, Blink Blink. Rudolph? Really?
Hubs: There's a gun pointed at my head! That's the first one I thought of! Rudolph!

Laughter filled the car as Cares thought there HAS to be a better way to get his opinions out.

Someone Smack Me

Okay. So I HATE clutter in my home. HATE IT. I had a major freakout over the weekend regarding a messy, cluttery kitchen that included feet stomping, real tears and some incoherent shouting about TOO MUCH STUFF. The poor hubs didn't know what to do so he just grabbed me by the shoulders, guided me to bed and kissed my face a million times before I curled up and fell asleep.

Cute.

Sure. REAL CUTE CARE! Sigh

So rewind to last week when a VERY generous co-worker offered up the opportunity for me and my ever growing bump to take a look at her stash of toys in her car headed for donation.

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Headed. For. Donation.

Hmmmm. Now call me crazy but

WHY ON EARTH WOULD I WANT TO CLUTTER MY HOUSE WITH TOYS ON THEIR WAY OUT?

Two possible reasons for the generosity:

1. Her kids have outgrown the toys and she is simply passing them on to a soon-to-be clueless mama
2. She didn't really want to drive to the donation site

I'm certain it's option 1. and she's just incredibly helpful. So someone please tell me I'm being unreasonable and tell me to take the toys filling up a Christmas-sized shopping bag and find a new home for them at my house where they can eagerly await the arrival of our sweet bundle. Or tell me to give them away! I'm very impressionable when it comes to my 3 readers. Okay maybe 4 on a good day. But you get the point.

I'm TRYING to prepare for the influx of STUFF we're about to be given and I still don't think I'll be able to comprehend it.

Help?

Baby Sidney

It's been a long trying week for the Blackwoods. Shawn's cousins have suffered a mighty big loss and it's been nothing short of heart-breaking. If you wouldn't mind sending your thoughts and prayers their way I know it won't go unnoticed.

I sometimes struggle with my Faith but am nothing short of grateful for it when there's such a great loss with no explanation. That's the hardest time for me to believe and keep that faith, but I cling to it like a child clings to his mama. There's been a lot of tears and praying going on in my house and you can bet if you're reading this, you've been in them. 

Hug your loved ones oh so tightly tonight because life is short and sometimes very unfair.

All my love,
Cares

Free Music

I love getting new songs and love it even more when they're FREE!

I also love getting into the Holiday spirit and that means Holiday music. :-) The Civil Wars is giving away two free downloads and they are quite lovely. You can find out about it on their Facebook page here:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/thecivilwars

And get the free tracks here:

http://app.topspin.net/store/artist/3620?wId=46685&theme=black&highlightColor=0x00A1FF&w=400&h=300&src=fb

I'm feeling great and have a full on bump now. You can't see it from the Thanksgiving picture below but I'll post some pictures tomorrow. :-)

I still haven't felt the baby move and it's the size of a sweet potato now so you'd think I'd be able to feel it moving all about. I long for that day.

I'm a full 41/2 months along now which according to MY math means I'm halfway there! We'll see if baby feels the same way about that math. :-)

I have my 20 week check up on the 17th at 9am so any prayers and thoughts you send my way would be great. I'm confident Dr. Taylor will give me a clean bill and show me that the placenta is no longer blocking the cervix.

I've been listening to her and limiting myself to walking everyday at lunch for 30-45 minutes. It feels great to be getting some exercise.

Mom met me and the Hubs at the Baby Store in Los Gatos to get schooled on all things baby stuff. We picked out some items and are of course comparing prices which led to a wicked argument about what else? MONEY! Sigh. One of these days we'll be able to communicate without it ending in tears, teeth gnashing and door slamming.

Blink
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What? Haven't you ever heard of pregnancy hormones?

Apparently the hubs has not and has not a thought about simply smiling and nodding rather than asking questions that lead into arguments. Again I ask this amazingly wonderful God of mine what in the world he was thinking putting a man and woman together. But that's a topic for an entirely separate blog post. :-)

Luckily I have a very good friend who's husband thinks pretty close to identically to mine. She listened and offered me sage advice on handling these discussions that start out with me excited about acribandadresserandastrollerandbassinetandacarseatandaandaanda well you get it, and end with the hubs punching the seemingly impossible numbers in his head.

I was not brought up to believe in that word. Impossible. It was a swear word in our house and I believe we'd have our mouths washed out with soap if we were to even THINK it.

What do you get when you mix a pessimist realist with a dreamer? Just come on over to our house, bring up acribandadresserandastrollerandbassinetandacarseatandaandaanda and you'll find out. ;-) Mostly it's a gorgeous, complimenting, loving pairing but sometimes the stubborn-ness  wins out and we both lose.

What?

Oh right. Like YOUR relationships are all rainbows and butterflies. Liar.

It's what makes us smarter, wiser and better people and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm open to any and all communication tips however. Those are never too much.

Love,
Cares

Reasons My Co-Workers Might Hate Me....

So I work with a LOT of women and men who have experienced pregnancy either first or second hand making yesterday's FREAK OUT really no big deal. To those who had the inside scoop that I was pregnant.

To help calm myself down I went on a lunch time walk with my favorite colleague Niki. We laughed as I re-enacted the morning's scene that began with her walking by my cube and simply asking how I was doing.  I mean, if I can't laugh at my crazy behavior what's the point? We then began talking about the very talented and actually very caring Social Media Manager who sits in front of me. He had innocently walked into work to see my tears of epic proportion and a seemingly frightened Niki trying to comfort me. At work. In front of everyone.

Niki Well, does he know you're pregnant?
Me Umm, well I never officially TOLD him but I mean doesn't EVERYONE know now?
Niki Maybe you should tell him

Blink
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Me Omigosh he doesn't know and now he thinks I'm certifiable LOONEY TOONS!

There was nothing we could to to stop from laughing until our sides hurt.

Fast forward to this morning's conversation as said Social Media Manager settles in for the day:

Me: Hey sorry about yesterday morning!
SMM: Oh, no worries AT ALL. I mean we all have days like that.
Me: Yeah I just don't know how to deal with all these crazy hormonal emotions.
Crickets begin chirping throughout the office
Me: (thinking: oh man so he DOESN'T know!) Soooo I don't know if you knew but I'm pregnant
SMM: Oh, wow I DID NOT know! Congratulations! And that makes perfect sense now!
Me: Sooo you just thought I was a crazy loon then huh?!
SMM: laughing Well I mean I just figured it was a bad morning or something
Me: Well, no not really I mean nothing was really wrong or anything I just couldn't stop crying!
SMM: Bending over from laughter My ex was like that with all 3 of ours. I mean we'd be in the middle of dinner talking about trees or something and when I looked up from taking a bite she'd just be bawling!
Me: Yeah I kind of feel bad for my husband. But thank gawd! I thought I was crazy!
SMM: No, I think that part's pretty normal! But congratulations again!

Oh the comedy that is my life. I mean honestly. I can just imagine if it were me walking in on yesterday morning's irrationality. NOT knowing the back story only to find out that
a. the fool was prego and
b. there was absolutely nothing wrong.

That's pretty funny, right?

While the Cat's Away....

Shawn's out of town for 2 nights and while this isn't a big deal, I've always hated it when he goes. He doesn't leave town very often but the codependent part of my soul absolutely hates watching him pack. The passive aggressive part of me wanted to hide all his clean laundry so he'd have nothing to pack and therefore not be able to go! That was only a thought. I made sure he had all the clean clothes he needed. :-)

Finding ways to fill my time for 2 nights wasn't hard. I even took Winston to "school" on Monday to make sure he was good and tired Monday night. He can be very high maintenance in the evenings. This is usually remedied by sticking him on his tethered leash and letting him roam "freely" out back but it's been raining which means mud, lots of mud and Shawn just shampooed the carpets for my Dad's upcoming visit. Muddy dog paws on light carpets don't really match and it makes me break out into hives and I've even been known to seize once or twice because of it. What? I like a clean house!

Anyhow, I filled my Monday with a pot of creamy potato soup shared with Tessy as we watched Monday night football and talked trash to Char online. This was topped off when Tessy asked me if I had plans the next evening. Side note: Tessy has a new BF :-) and when she told him that I hate when Shawn leaves he offered to take me to dinner the following night to help the time go by quicker. SCORE! Two dates in a row with ThankGodForTessy!

I woke up Tuesday morning feeling like I wanted to roll over and spend the entire day in bed but knew I was trying to take Friday off to spend with Dad. I yawned my way through my morning moves, patted Winston goodbye and left for work.

I should have listened to my body.

Suddenly at about 11AM a wave of Hell AKA my allergies washed over me. I was sneezing, coughing, wheezing, sniffling and couldn't find enough tissue to stop my eyes from watering out. I was getting evil glares from my co-workers whose facial expressions shot at me like daggers willing me to go home OR FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP COUGHING/SNEEZING/SNIFFLING! I've been given the okay to take Claritin, but I have a hard time taking medicine in general so you'd be a fool to think I'll easily take it now.

Well I'm the fool for not taking it. I was miserable all the rest of the day long and had to cancel my dinner date with Tessy and her BF. I went home, put on my PJs and hit the sack. At 4PM.

Blink
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Winston was NOT happy. I tried to coax him with 2 new bones, wet food mixed with his dry food, I even tried to bribe him by telling him he could "play" with the orange cat that keeps teasing him out back. What? I was desperate! And that cat is really mean to stand just-that-close to the edge of Winston's tether.

We both found sleep and I didn't wake up until 9PM. With a splitting headache the size of my newly protruding pregnant ass Texas. I called Shawn and told him he needed to come home. Now. I don't care how, get on a plane and get home. What's so irrational about that? I think he laughed and I swear I could hear him shaking his head through the phone.

I finally got back to sleep and didn't wake up again until a bad dream woke me up at 4AM. And like a fool I tried to cuddle with Winston. Then HE needed to get up. Up and outside we go. But it was wet. So then I was mad at Lee Soloman who told me LIGHT SPRINKLES if anything would affect us. LIAR! I haven't been so angry in my whole life. What's irrational about that? His job is to tell me whether (get it?!) it will be soaked in my backyard like when Winston gets really thirsty and drinks his entire 10 gallon water bowl in one gulp or just damp like when Oscar takes a leisurely sip from his 1/4 gallon water bowl. It was soaked and I had no towel for Winston's muddy feet. AT 4AM. Thanks a lot Lee Soloman. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

He was a trooper and we worked it out.

Fast Forward to 7:30AM. Winston is in the back of the car and we're parked outside of his "school" waiting for the 2 other slow pokes who got there before us to drop their dogs off. One was a chocolate lab who's owner is ALWAYS there at 7:15 knowing full well that school doesn't open until 7:30. Then there was a woman with a snack size dog sitting on her lap in the driver's seat barking at EVERYTHING IT SAW. ANNOYING. We waited until the 2 others were safely inside and made our way in.

"Oh great Winnie, it's that kid you used to not like. I whispered out a small prayer: PLEASE LET THAT SWEET BLOND GIRL BE IN THE OFFICE ...pleasepleasepleaseplease."

The sweet blond girl was nowhere to be found and boy was taking FOR-EVER checking in Winston as I am anxiously looking out for any new snack-sized  dogs that might be making their way in the office. The boy who takes forever finally starts walking us up to the gate to take Winston into his pen when a woman and her snack-sized poodle starts making her way back. I'm not kidding. This poodle was like those small 100-Calorie Oreo cookie snack packs you can buy at the grocery store. What? They're good!

Winston mind you is the picture of calm. Me not so much. "CAN YOU WAIT UP TOP? HE'S NOT THE MOST FRIENDLY!" Now I'm not yelling but so scared that I can feel yesterday's lunch begin to rise up. Winston is sitting beautifully waiting for me to give a command. The boy who takes forever KEEPS WALKING. He has a history with Winston and knows how careful and cautious we are about him. Don't you think he might, you know, DO HIS JOB to prevent any freak out?! The lady keeps coming down clearly confused because the boy who takes forever is clueless. She gets it, turns around and waits up top. PHEW.

We walk by with no issue and Winston doesn't even give the snacked size poodle a second look. I look at the woman and say, "I'm sorry he's just not predictable".

Woman: Blink Blink Blink thinking to herself "Ummmm why is that dog even here then?"

I mean that's what I would be thinking. But Kevin the owner takes ALL dogs. Even dogs that are still intact. That's why Winston goes there. Because they love him there and work with him.

So the boy who takes forever and Winston have a history. Once, back when he was going every day, I asked how Winston was doing and if he was good with all the employees. They said all except the boy who takes forever. And they said something to the effect that Winston wasn't the only dog who took issue with him or that they didn't really like him either. So every time we saw the boy who takes forever I would get a little nervous because I knew this.

Today as I went to hand Winston off to the boy who takes forever he wouldn't go. He didn't charge him or bark or snarl or growl. He simply sat down and pulled back. Twice. I was really proud of him because most times he'll charge a person he doesn't like or at the very least bark that awfully frightening bark. Not today. He just calmly "told" me he didn't want to go with him. I walked him back into his pen and gave him a nice pat and whispered a "good job boy" in his ear. Not because he doesn't like the boy who takes forever, but because he controlled himself.

I apologized to the boy who takes forever and headed out.

Then I called Shawn and bawled my eyes out.

Blink
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This heightened hormone horses*&! mixed with sleep deprivation is a whole new beast that I don't know how to handle.

I mean, do YOU think it's weird that when a coworker walks over to ask how I'm doing I start bawling my eyes out? For no real good reason? Because I don't.

Hurry home hubz. Please.

Second Trimester Lies

Nothing I've read could prepare me fully for this pregnancy, and to be completely honest I haven't really done much research. I have my one and only website I visit, okay two if you count the one that compares the baby's growth and size to pieces of fruit. What? It's a cute site!

I want to experience this pregnancy as organically as I can. I mean it is MY experience after all and even though there are countless blogs and chat rooms that tell me how I SHOULD feel this week and what MIGHT happen to me this month, I want to go through it and live it as I FEEL it happening. This epiphany came to me after talking to my friend La (who is due a month after me!!!!) yesterday. I told her, I still feel so exhausted and THEY say that I get all this energy back in the second trimester. Her response was something along the lines of this is MY experience and could be, should be so different than any other one.

So. That said.

Every Saturday I begin a new week in my pregnancy. Don't ask me why the week begins on Saturdays. Something to do with the date of my last period and conception date and ovulation blah blah blah. The fancy dancy due date calculator told me so and my doctor agreed. So there it is.

This Saturday I will be 15 weeks along. WHAT? No, honestly. WHAT?! That's nearly 4 months nearly halfway.

The baby is the size of a lemon this week. A beautiful, lovely lemon.

Lemon Poster

Now if you know me I shouldn't have to tell you why this is my favorite week. I LOVE lemons. ADORE lemons. I will eat ANYTHING prepared with lemon and I could get all Bubba Gump on you but that's just annoying.  I mean this post IS about the babes after all!

In the next week the baby will grow from the size of a lemon to the size of a naval orange. About an ounce of growth doubling its weight. I suppose it shouldn't be any wonder why I'm so tired!

Each week I randomly receive emails from friends asking how I'm feeling, how excited I'm getting and if we're going to find out.

We're not going to find out! We want to be surprised and are both really excited about it. For now. That could change at any second so as of now we are waiting until delivery day. :-)

I'm so very excited about the baby but not so excited about what's going on in my body. Juju asked me a few weeks ago: How are you feeling? Are you glowing? Beaming?

Nope.

More like farting, burping and bloated.

Blink
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Sure not the most lady-like of responses but do you want me to be honest or sugar coat it all?

That's what I thought. Besides, lady like is boring. Don't do that.

So apparently I was supposed to wake up on the first day of my second trimester feeling a wave of energy thinking I could conquer the world.

AHEM

Well, yesterday morning at work I did indeed felt as if

a. I was on crack or

b. I just had a triple latte.

And not a Starbucks latte a Peet's latte. I was on fire and so excited to have so much energy! I got SO much work done and dealt with so many fires with so much vigor and vim! (What? It's a real word. Just ask Tessy.) I was accomplishing so much in my day when WHAM! 2PM hit. And it hit hard. It was like coming down off a triple Peet's latte. BAD. I've never been so exhausted in my life.

Exhausted/KatClein

I was ready for the burst of energy but not ready for the MACK truck that came behind it to take me out.

It's fine really, Winston has taken to rummaging in the kitchen for his own snacks now and Oscar follows him around vacuuming up his crumbs with his pug mouth. The hubz has grown accustomed to coming home from work finding me sprawled out in various positions throughout the house with my mouth wide open and a stream of drool hanging out. It's incredibly sexy and flattering. The icing on the cake has been my own flatulence waking me up. I'm not kidding. It's THAT loud. I mean I'm not eating anything weird, it's just a new fact of life at our house that can only be defended by my growing babes. There's nothing better than startling yourself out of deep REM sleep to the sounds of your own butt hole. 

Graphic, perhaps but they sure don't tell you that in What to Expect. And guess what. I would have liked to have expected THAT even if I am going for an organic experience! I sure wish the Hubz blogged. I would just LOVE to hear about this from his perspective.

Happy Friday! ;-)

Oscar the Bad Ass

So in the last 2 or 3 months the Hubz and I have noticed a significant spike in Oscar's bad ass demeanor. We attribute this to the fact that he now has a 140-pound beast for a big brother to back him up. His barks have become much more frequent and louder.

We're very much accustomed to his barking at the television to the extent that we have to change the channel when a commercial with any kind of animal comes on. These days he barks at EVERYTHING. Shadows on the wall, trees waving in the wind, neighbors walking by some 50 yards away, etc. It's gotten very loud at our home.


I mentioned the television barking earlier and he's simply taken it to an entire new level. He doesn't need to see any animals now. He's learned to memorize the opening music to commercials. His favorite is the NFL Home commercial. Now, I understand that there is a bulldog in this commercial, but a. the dog does not show up until 7 seconds in and b. the bulldog only lasts 1.5 seconds. I suppose in Oscar's defense the dog DOES show up again later in the 30 second long commercial for an entire millisecond.

Oscar has memorized the song and pops his pug head up every time that whistling begins without fail. That's all it takes is to hear the first whistle. Then he goes nuts running all over the living room looking for whomever it is whistling or the damn bulldog. It's a riot and I love every second of it.

May Day 2011 Has a Nice Ring to it

That's our official due date. :-)

I took the test on 8/30 knowing full well that I would get two lines on the test. Even though I had been keeping track of my cycles and was very sure the outcome, the technical writer in me just HAD to follow the step by step instructions to get the most accurate of results.

What? Someone slaved away writing those instructions: sending out for edits, placing the images just right.  Oh, yeah back to the story...

Oscar was sitting patiently outside the bathroom door as he always does when I visit the ladies' room. Shawn was in the office organizing his many piles and Winston was roaming around the house happily chewing up his baby.

I didn't even have a chance to hold my breath before the second pink line came up. In an instant I was laughing, crying and jumping. Oscar's nails clippity clopped on the bathroom tile in unison. "C'mon Oscar let's go tell the Hubz!" On the way through the house Winston joined in the parade prancing and swinging his "baby" with his mouth feeling the excitement in the air.

I stopped short at the Office door and waited for the Hubz to look up. He looked up and I didn't say a word just held up the positive test.

A look of confusion filled his face as he looked up from his project. He looked at me, the test, then me. He had a look on his face to say "what is that?". His faced changed as he realized that it was a pregnancy test. A POSITIVE pregnancy test.

"No WAY.
No WAY BABE!
Seriously?!
No WAY!"

I nodded and cried as we hugged and stared at each other. The dogs had mellowed out at this point and just watched us. It was an amazing moment. I felt as if I was floating and still couldn't believe how quickly that second line showed up. I was talking about a mile a minute.

IknewIwassuperlatethismonthbutyouneverknow,right?ImeanIdon'tfeelanydifferentbutWHOA!

His smile never left his face the rest of the night. Even when he had to get practical for a second. C'mon now. It really wouldn't be MY hubz if he didn't have at least ONE practical comment.

I took another test to be sure but we were already convinced. Well sort of convinced.

We didn't say very much besides the expected "Wow everything's going to change and we really have to start saving now" from the Hubz and the dutiful eye roll from me.

I called my Doctor the next day to see if I could get a confirmation. I mean how reliable ARE these tests anyway?

Apparently very reliable. The receptionist wouldn't book me for another 3 weeks and said I didn't need to come in for a blood test to confirm.

The next 3 weeks were strange. The Hubz and I didn't really discuss being pregnant mostly because neither one of us really felt it had been completely confirmed and I think we were both nervous that if we talked about it, it would somehow alter the reality of the situation. Well for whatever reason we both stayed very mum.

Mum. Hee hee.

I did tell my mom the very next day. How could I not? I made her promise NOT to freak out and that I hadn't even been to the doctor yet. She did very well for a Mom who's main character trait is "excited".

3 weeks later we had our first ultrasound that confirmed I was 8 weeks along with a May 1 due date.

Isn't it amazing? I mean what an image our tech got!

So we saw the baby, saw the heartbeat (going SO fast!), and were still in a state of quiet. While it hit us a little harder we were still nervous to talk about it even to each other! By now both Moms, Dad and Bubba all knew and were very excited for us.

Next up was the 12 week appointment that would confirm it all and put us in a "safe" place to announce it and even start making plans.

We heard the heartbeat and asked if it was indeed the right time to make our announcement.

"Well," the technician started "Sure, I mean it really doesn't matter WHEN you begin telling folks because really ANYTHING can happen at ANY time."

Blink
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Huh? Um OKAY. I guess that's true but then why do all these articles and websites say to wait? Jeesh lady.

So does this mean we should wait? I've already received one hate text from a BFF who has felt very neglected by my trying to keep a secret. I don't think I could have held out much longer.

So we didn't.

We planned a big dinner with friends to make the official announcement. Of course we HAD to plan it the last game of the Giants Playoff but we were able to let all our friends know nonetheless. Lots of hugs, cheers and even teary eyes greeted us as I jumped up on our fireplace to continue the celebration of the Giants' win with a hearty "GUESS WHAT!!! I'm PREGNANT!!!"

It was fantastic.

Then came the questions.

"Where will the baby sleep?"
"Will you keep working"
"What about the commute?"
"What names?"
"Boy or Girl?"
"Are you going to find out if it's a boy or a girl?"
"When is the shower?"

I mean honestly. I felt overwhelmed because the Hubz and I had barely found out what my medical plan covers! We hadn't really discussed anything beyond that.

Guess it's time to get to planning!

We're so entirely thrilled and cannot wait for May. There are quite a few details to iron out before then, so we better get started.

xxoo

Happy Birthday BUBBA! (Rerun)

And just for fun a video starring our favorite pug: